Crazy Sauce

What a wild week! I went out every night last week with my lady friends and various potential EC's. Saturday Clueless and I stayed up till the wee hours of Sunday morning watching stand up and giving back rubs. I swear....if he doesn't just make a move in the next near future I'm gonna scream!
Sunday while flirting with Clueless at a game night Yogurt Guy showed up. Are you kidding me!?!?! I haven't seen/heard from this guy in months. I went over and said hi, and then proceeded to rip him a new one. LOL It felt really good. He apologized for being stupid and asked if we could start over. I haven't decided if I'm going to be that generous yet.
THEN I got home and who emailed me??? None other than MR. FACEBOOK himself!?!?! Holy Cow!!!! What to do!?!?!?!? We already know when it comes to Mr. FB I am NOT cool. But I think I managed to control myself when I responded. It helps that I was irritated to find out from several other people that he is coming to town soon and I'll see him at church and HE didn't bother to tell me. He said last year he still wanted to be friends, but friends don't just call each other every 6 months or so when it's convenient for them!
Sheesh!

Week For Comebacks

I'm not sure if it's the new year and people are feeling sentimental or lonely, or what, but last years men seem to have renewed their interest.
Obviously McCutie/Douche is one. And this morning while I was driving to work Kyle called and asked me out to dinner tonight. (I said no....I guess I'm just over it). As soon as I got to work my little crush (aka Moron) texted and asked if I was having a shindig at my place tonight. I'm not sure if he's just looking for something to do, or specifically wants to see me. He's not very clear about that sort of thing.
Also Koa asked for my phone number. Maybe something will happen there....
Who knows? It's a new year full of possibilities.
Maybe I'll get lucky and Mr. FB will materialize in front of me with an engagement ring....hey, a girl can dream right?

Off The Hook

I have officially forgiven Mr. FB for not answering my text right away yesterday. He texted me this afternoon and said his plane just landed back in the US. So he WAS out of the country. (I told Jane he'd BETTER be out of the country if he was ignoring me...and he was) So I've forgiven him and once again will dream about our silly coconut twins. Ok, I probably won't go THAT far....I mean, he couldn't text me back from Canada? It's not like he was in Africa or something. (That's where he goes this weekend.)
But I'm so righteous and forgiving I'll let it slide. Man, he'd be lucky to nab a girl like me.

Lucky for him I had Jane dump Rhett for me, so I'm available again.

Back To Haunt Me

In Sacrament today some girl quoted Mr. Facebook in her talk. Really?!?! He's not the prophet for crying out loud!
This man BREAKS my heart and I'm doing my best to move on and thought I was doing ok till she flipping quotes him! Are you kidding me!?!?! Apparently Mr. FB spoke at some fireside she attended at BYU and it "really made an impression" on her. Ugggh! Yeah, well sister, he really made an impression on me too! Grrr! So I have been moody all day and even ended up texting him this evening. (bad move...I know) I totally played it cool though. All I said was, "Hey friend. Someone quoted you in Sacrament today and it made me think of you. Hope all is well.~Lynne Ummm...that was 2 hours ago. And I haven't heard back yet. Seriously...don't tell me "Well always be friends" (direct quote from Mr. FB himself) if you don't flipping mean it!

Stood Up

Not me!
Get that horrible thought out of your head this instant! I can't imagine who would stand ME up! Get real! What I should have said, is I stood someone up. Mr. Possibilities to be exact.
With Jane's best wishes I accepted Mr. P's offer but when he called to seal the deal I sent him to voice mail. Then texted him back hours later with a sorry excuse.
I know. What if Jane's Mr. P is my Frog Prince? **sigh** I just don't think he is though. And he called too late. I was tired. You don't get to be as good looking as me by staying out all night! I need my 3.5-4 hours of beauty sleep every night so my cells can repair themselves after a long day of sunbathing. (no white legs for this princess!)
Plus I had 2 parties the next day, and 3 this Saturday....I'm a busy lady and can't be bothered by last-minute men.
With all of these valid reasons need I even mention that I still have a whisper of a shadow of a tiny, minuscule hope that Mr. FB will come around and I'd hate to be on a date with Mr. I Just Wanted A Free Dinner when my future husband called, begging for me to take him back and accept his hand??!!?!?!!!?!??! I think not.

Mr. Facebook

OK- so I know by now you are all wondering why I haven't given up on Mr. FB and moved on...right? The problem is Mr. FB raised the bar and I just haven't met anyone who comes close to it yet.
So remember a few weeks ago when I emailed him cause he said he still wanted to be friends? Well he JUST now got back to me. I KNOW RIGHT!?!?? Soooo rude! I'm pretty sure he was doing his EFY counselor gig but he could've taken .02 seconds to write me back. When he finally DID write me back that's probably about how long it took him to compose his email. LAME. It was uber short. He didn't even use my name. Here....I've copy and pasted it for you EXACTLY how he wrote it.

Hey!

Im happy to hear that you had a great time at the show!!! Glad to hear that you’re doing well my friend!
FB

Ummm....are you as irritated as I am at how totally impersonal it is!?!? Or how he had NOTHING else to say!?!? If that's how it's gonna be than you shouldn't tell me on date 2 you are going to buy me a house in a tropical paradise or talk about how cute of kids we'd make! I got excited about that and mentally planned our whole wedding and where we'll live and what we'll name our kids! We're having twins for crying out loud! Didn't he hear about my dream a few weeks ago?Oy!
I was so ticked I didn't respond cause I'd probably be mean....and that won't help me out when I'm still praying he dumps his current gf and begs me to take him back.
(ummm....prayers like that DO get answered.....right?)

Mr. FB Dream

ok - I know it's been a month since I last saw Mr. Facebook and that he dumped me. But I still can't stop thinking about him. I had this REALLY amazing dream last night.

Well....the first and saddest part is that I had to leave Las Vegas and move to Provo. (Utah people---don't get upset....I just don't like snow.) But other than that it was AMAZING.

Me and Mr. FB were married and had just had twins! Yeah! Two super cute mini-me's and mini-Mr. FB. Mr. FB (being the truly wonderful husband he is) let me decorate the twins' nursery just how I wanted it. I had a muralist come in and paint a huge beach/island scene on the walls in big bold strokes and colors. The room had cutesy beachy stuff all over and there was a carved wood sign on the door that said, "Silly Coconuts!" Me and Mr. FB had 2 wonderful, perfect, cute silly coconuts together.

Also somewhere in the dream our neighbors and ward members gossiped about how I was a cute little beach bunny mommy and me and Mr. FB were so in love.

****SIGH**** Then my alarm woke up and I had to go to work. Grrr... I would have MUCH preferred to continue my dream and be Mrs. FB.

Mr. FB losing cool points

So even though Mr. FB broke my little heart, and that weekend I stayed in and ate B&J ice cream and cried he said ... "We can always be friends :) "
So....I emailed him a FRIENDLY little note on Monday(we have to stay in contact if I intend to steal win him back) and have I heard back from him yet? No! I don't know about how things work in The Bubble, but in Vegas "friends" write back. (sniff, sniff)

Determined VS. Pathetic

It's been just over a week since Mr. FB told me he found someone new. I'm not over him yet. Jane seems to think this is unhealthy, but I object. It's only been a week. That's not long at all! I just can't seem to get him outta my head. He's so wonderful and I can't imagine finding someone else as amazing as he is. He as EVERTHING I'm looking for. EVERYTHING!!! So I don't find it the least bit odd that I am still smitten with his seemingly "made to order just for me" qualities which include corny jokes and a persistatnly (borderline aggitating) upbeat attitude towards EVERYTHING.
I've adopted his sunny outlook on life and decided that this is not the end of the road for me and Mr. FB. I'll step back and give him some time and space, but I fully intend for this relationship to start up again in the next few months. I'll just keep being his friend, and when he becomes single again I'll make my move. I think I'm hopeful and determined. Jane says pathetic and delusional. What do you think?
Vote ---->

Constant Men In My Life

If you're looking at this thinking, "Aren't those the guys on the side of my ice cream carton," you would be right. They are the famous Ben and Jerry of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream.
Now, if you're thinking, "Why are they the only "constant men in Lynne's life," I'll tell you.
Mr. Facebook and I are no longer together. I know, I know. He was perfect. Mr. Wonderful. Everything I ever wanted. Better than I'd ever dared to hope for. So why, then, is it all over? I'll tell you. Sadly, the distance was too much for us. That, and not having sufficient time to really get to know each other and develop a strong relationship before he had to fly off to save under-privileged children, one third world country at a time (and I'm NOT making this up...that's what he does for a living) I know. I'm sad too. That's why I spent last weekend holed up in my apartment crying and eating pint after pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I wish that Mr. Facebook and I lived in the same city. Shoot....even the same state would be an improvement. Then we might have stood a chance. He was a complete gentleman about the whole situation, and very honest and sweet so it's hard to be mad at him. Heck, who am I kidding. It's IMPOSSIBLE to be mad at him. Just very, very disappointed and so sad that this little fantasy of mine has come to an end. But, it was a very important fantasy. As I said before, Mr. Facebook has raised the bar for all other frogs in my life. And maybe our paths will cross again, and I'll get my happily ever after, after all. Until then, Ben & Jerry make very comforting (though, not that attractive) companions.

Blast from the Past

Ok- I really, REALLY like Mr. Facebook, but the reality is he lives in another state and spends most of his time on the road for work so our opportunity for communicating is sporadic, and face to face time even more rare. I'm not writing him off, but until we have a more stable arrangement and some official commitment I'm not quite off the market.
So today when Kyle asked me out to dinner I said yes. Kyle and I went out a few times about 6 months ago but I was fresh out of my last relationship and not ready to start anything new so Kyle moved on to someone who was. We see each other frequently and are always very friendly. He's a great guy. I just missed my opportunity with him. Well, he must have broken up with his girlfriend because as I was driving home from work today he called and asked me out to dinner. Boy was I SURPRISED! I said yes not sure of what to expect. He picked me up right away (I had just barely made it home from work) and off we went. It was a nice dinner and afterwards we walked around a car dealership that sells vintage, classic, and high end cars. (Ferrari, Bentley, Rolls Royce, etc) It was a nice time, although I'm not sure what to make of it. He had me home by 7:30pm because he had just gotten back from vacation and is exhausted and has work in the morning. So the early night, the fact that he hasn't expressed any interest in 6 months, and the uncertainty of what's going on with Mr. FB has left me feeling very confused. I guess I'll just have to wait it out and see.
I hate dating. I just wanna know what all these men are thinking! I wish dating today was like it was a hundred years ago. I want the man who likes me to express his feelings and intentions in writing so there is no uncertainty. And I want them to be "actively" interested and pursuing me. None of this sporadic crap. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and suddenly have skipped a few years and be married already. I don't care if it's to Mr. FB, Kyle, or an A&F model. I just want to be past that point! Oi!

Mr. Facebook

Ok....so I met Mr. FB a few months ago and was really impressed by him. Not just the way he looks, (which is nice) but by the kind of person he is. After searching for him online (since I didn't have a facebook account when he asked me) I discovered his personal web page which had a "contact me" link. I clicked it and sent him and email, not expecting much to come of it. Well...I was wrong. We began emailing, then texting, then calling, and last weekend he came out to Vegas to visit me. It was the most amazing weekend ever! He really is as wonderful as I had imagined. Caring, thoughtful, spiritual, funny, down to earth and the coolest thing is he's into me too! I was sure that in the weeks before he came to visit that I was perhaps building this thing up in my head to be more than it really was. He's a nice guy, and our budding friendship could have been just that. FRIENDSHIP. And that would've been fine because he's the kind of guy you want to be your friend but on Saturday night he called me out on my first email to him and asked why I "really sent it." Honesty is the best policy so I told him I thought he was cute and was impressed by the things he said and that I google stalked him till I found his email address. I was really embarrassed by this admission but figured it was time to lay it out on the table or I'd never know if he was interested in me and he may not know that I'm interested in him. I am SOOO glad I did! He told me he was happy I emailed him because he was too shy to ask for my phone number when we first met and that I was pretty, smart, funny, and he liked me too! Oh my gosh! This just doesn't happen to me. I always end up dating someone with problems because I like to "fix" people. (obviously this hasn't worked) Mr. FB doesn't need to be fixed, has no problems, is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and he likes me!!! We spent Saturday with friends, had a picnic dinner, watched fireworks together, and danced the night away! He's a GREAT dancer too! SCORE! Sunday we went to church together and that night we went to a fireside. They had to kick us out of the building because we sat around talking forever. Sadly he had to return to Utah early the next morning but he didn't go without asking me out again. And he plans to spend sometime in St. George which is only 1.5 hrs from Vegas and he's asked if I would see him there when he's in town. The weekend couldn't have gone better if I'd written a script. I don't want to jump the gun on this because it's still so new but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was really excited. This is a quality man. I had given up hope that there was one out there, but we seem to have so much in common, and just really enjoy each other's company. Keep your fingers crossed for me ladies! Mr. Facebook is quite the catch!

Oh Happy Day!

Mr. Facebook emailed me today! As I write him back I try to be cool and not sound over excited. I realized something. I'm not that cool.

Reincarnation and Lessons Learned

Fancy 1st Date Guy, Yogurt Guy, and ex-boyfriend called me today. Umm...why? I'm pretty sure I got rid of one, and the other 2 got rid of me. So why have they contacted me tonight? Either they are in slump and going through their phones and calling everyone, or they sincerely want to "give it another shot." Sorry gentlemen. "Mr. Do You Have a Facebook" just raised the bar and you fall unfathomably short. Harsh? Maybe. Truthful? Absolutely.
Katie, Jane and I were talking over dinner tonight. Jane and I were offering Katie comfort and advice as she's dealing with a rough breakup. As I was dishing my "words of wisdom" to Katie I realized something. This past week I've learned a lesson from Mr. Facebook. You have to know what you want before you look for it, or you'll never find it. To know what you want you have to know yourself. Once you've got that taken care of don't settle for someone who isn't what you're looking for. It's a great disservice to both of you. Know who you are. Know what you want. Be realistic. Learn how to recognize these qualities in others. Don't waste your time by settling with someone who isn't what you are looking for. There are 6.77 billion people in this world and one of them is looking for you.