Miss me???

OMGosh! I know it's been FOREVER!!! I've spent the last 8 months kissing a major FROG and the most recent of the 2 crying over it. I know. Major waste of my time. But in my defense I really thought Scott was going to be my EC. I know that's no excuse to let my updates slack off. There were a lot of really great moments I should've shared with you. Like when he paid off my humungo tax bill, or paid my medical bills, or took me on mini vacations, or we put an offer down on a house and started planning eternity together. Oh, ALSO about the time he refused to hold my hand when a picture was being taken because "we had enough pictures holding hands" or the time he sat in his car in my front yard and talked to his ex girlfriend from high school for 2 hrs in the middle of the night, or the time he said he was on his way to my house and showed up 3 hrs later, or how he refused to hang out with my girlfriends because they weren't educated enough or because they picked the same restaurant weekly. Or how when he was breaking up with me he said he'd rather keep dating me, but be able to date other people because he didn't want to miss out on other opportunities...yeah....about that. Basically he's a 34 year old indecisive loser. If he keeps thinking the grass is greener on the other side eventually he's gonna run out of grass. It's a good thing I slapped the tooth right out of his mouth when he told me he was seeing someone else AFTER he'd just made out with me! Yup..... so you see, I feel really bad that I have to give you a brief recap now, when this would've been SO much better if you'd heard about it in real time.
But don't worry guys. The break-diet brought me down to a size 0 and I'm looking MIGHT FINE. And in all honesty, I'm beating guys away with sticks! Yogurt guy is back around (we have a date tonight), there's a new one, Nate, who ROCKS and is taking me to New Orleans this month (winner!) and McCutie more recently known as Pink Shirt Douche Bag who in the last year has come back to church and claims to have turned his life around. I'm not so sure if that REALLY happened...but that's what he says. So I'm letting him buy me dinner Saturday.
To recap:
Dated Scott FOREVER.
Got dumped. (blessing...seriously)
Got SUPER SKINNY SEXY.
It's raining men again.
Thursday date with Nate
Friday date with Yogurt Guy
Saturday date with PSDB

I think my weekend is looking pretty ding dong dang fantastic.

And Scott has to work. All weekend.
Life is beautiful.

Persistence should be rewarded….but isn’t always…

Yogurt guy asked me out again. Our last date was over a month ago. I was beautiful and charming and totally made him look good in front of his boss. When I hear from him now he ALWAYS mentions how everyone in his office loves me and still talks about me. I find this incredibly odd since HE only calls once a month, if that.

So he calls me and asks if I have plans for the evening and I do. I have plans with Scott. But I’m mildly irritated with him, so I briefly consider accepting Yogurt Guy, but then think better of it. I flirt with YG just a little and let him believe there’s still hope (I’m too smart to burn Man Bridges) and tell him maybe next time.

Today I heard from YG again. What!?!?!? That’s twice in less than a week. I’m SHOCKED! There must be something wrong with my phone. Or maybe it’s his phone? Or maybe he finally realized I’m the best there is and he’s lucky I answer his sorry butt’s sporadic calls at all???? Nah….the planets must have realigned or the earth has begun spinning the opposite direction. I vaguely remember seeing something like that in Weekly World News. The moon and the tides are off, so gravity…blah blah blah….earth’s axis…blah blah blah….right next to an update on Bat Boy. So I’m already a little light headed at all this attention from YG and he goes ahead and does the UNTHINKABLE. He offers to help me move!!!!

I KNOW!!!! I’ve seen desperation before, but never in the form of heavy lifting/hard core manual labor!!! Does this mean I’ve gotten hotter??? (Probably true…my hotness increases daily) Or perhaps he’s noticed pictures of me and Scott on FB??? (Probably also true) Either way my stock just went WAY UP.

I wonder if YG thinks all this persistence will pay off. That I’ll just give in and decide his recent attention somehow compensates for him being a moron. And a balding moron at that. Doubtful. Very doubtful.

Yogurt

I went on a date with Yogurt Guy again. It was fun cause it was all fancy and we got super dressed up. And I looked SMOKIN hot! I had men of all ages drooling, including the help. Yogurt Guy was kinda a dud and didn't say much to me, mostly he talked to colleagues, but it was ok cause I know he asked me to be his date because he wanted to show that he could get a babe like me. When he was introducing me to everyone they kept teasing him and making jokes about how much he paid me to be his date because I was too good looking for him. He even called on Monday morning to tell me his whole office was talking about me and that I was the hit of the party. I'm pretty sure I elevated his career. PLUS I talked with one of the partners of his law firm for most of the evening and am pretty sure I get free legal help for life now.

Return of Yogurt Guy

I went to see a movie with some of my BESTEST lady friends last night and when I got home I noticed a few text messages on my phone that I'd missed while I was in the movie. 2 of them were from Yogurt Guy. REMEMBER HIM!!?!?? Holy cow! What was he, like, so 2 yrs ago??? I don't even remember. Either way he was texting to tell me he'd "changed" and wanted to see me. Hmm....He also said he was done dating the girls in his ward. I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean but I told him if he wanted to come pop in a flick I'd be up for another hour or two. So 20 min later he was standing on my doorstep. We had a nice chat and got caught up then put in the movie and were making out 3 min later. Only THIS time I didn't have to police his roving hands, because they weren't going anywhere they shouldn't be. Hmm....so THIS is what he means by "changed." Then he asked me what my holiday plans were and we both realized we'd be out of the state for Thanksgiving. He asked if he could take me to dinner when we were both back in town. A little backwards....usually you have to buy my dinner BEFORE the kiss....but I guess he did if you go back in time far enough.

Crazy Sauce

What a wild week! I went out every night last week with my lady friends and various potential EC's. Saturday Clueless and I stayed up till the wee hours of Sunday morning watching stand up and giving back rubs. I swear....if he doesn't just make a move in the next near future I'm gonna scream!
Sunday while flirting with Clueless at a game night Yogurt Guy showed up. Are you kidding me!?!?! I haven't seen/heard from this guy in months. I went over and said hi, and then proceeded to rip him a new one. LOL It felt really good. He apologized for being stupid and asked if we could start over. I haven't decided if I'm going to be that generous yet.
THEN I got home and who emailed me??? None other than MR. FACEBOOK himself!?!?! Holy Cow!!!! What to do!?!?!?!? We already know when it comes to Mr. FB I am NOT cool. But I think I managed to control myself when I responded. It helps that I was irritated to find out from several other people that he is coming to town soon and I'll see him at church and HE didn't bother to tell me. He said last year he still wanted to be friends, but friends don't just call each other every 6 months or so when it's convenient for them!
Sheesh!

Another One!?!?

What part of "I'M NOT AVAILABLE," don't these guys get!?!? Seriously! Yogurt Guy started texting me today! After months of not talking he's all the sudden decided to call? What could he possibly have to say to me? I mean, he just stopped calling me out of the blue in August but there were a couple others guys around at that time so I didn't really notice his absence. But today I get a text from him and all it says was, "I know we haven't talked in forever - I just wanted to tell you that I passed the bar- how have you been?" Um...really? So I just wrote back, "I'm happy for you. I'm doing well." And do you know what he said next???? He said, "Are you dating anyone right now?" As if I were single I would run back to him? Give me a break.

Obeying Bishop's Counsel

When I was in Young Women's my bishop once told me to "play the field." I would just like to announce that I have followed his counsel.

Thursday: Date with Rhett
Friday: Church dance...THEN date with Kyle
Saturday: Date with Yogurt Guy
Sunday: Hung out with Rhett (I don't go on "dates" on Sunday....some commandment about keeping The Sabbath holy.....)

I've had a full, FUN weekend. But there was a wee bit of trouble when I woke up Saturday morning and noticed Kyle had left a little pink spot on my neck. Icky. Hickeys are SOOO Britney/HS. (Britney= white trash) Only a few hours to go and I had to hide it so Yogurt wouldn't notice. What does a girl like me do in a spot like this? I let Yogurt kiss my neck in the same spot so if he noticed the Icky then he would think it was from him. Smart thinking right? Totally. So when I saw the boys at church on Sunday if either of them noticed they would think it was from them.

Beautiful AND brilliant.

2nd Chance

I gave Rhett a second chance this week (to redeem himself after leaving me sitting in a running car while he used the Wendy's restroom for 10 min on our date 2 weeks ago). He took me to a party, which I wasn't too excited about. I'm seeing a couple guys right now, and it'd just be bad form to show up to a party with Rhett if lets say, Yogurt Guy, or Mr. Poss were there you know? Luckily for me, none of my other guys where there and I had a pretty great time.
On the way home Rhett asked if we could pull over for a quick second and I had ghoulish images of our previous date fly through my brain. I must have given him a strange look because he motioned towards an ice cream place and said he wanted to buy me an ice cream. Whew! He really had me panicked for a second! So we got our ice cream and sat at a table and talked. We talked about church, our families, what we were like in high school, etc....before we knew it, it was after midnight on a school night! Wow...time flies. So he took me home and that was that.
I'm not sure how I feel about this one though. I really enjoy hanging out with him....we have a lot in common and a lot to talk about but I'm just not feeling any sort of attraction or romantic connection. Hmmm....what to do, what to do.
I guess nothing for now...

Smotherly Yogurt

I went out with Yogurt Guy again last night. We've been spending an awful lot of time together. And I was convinced that I really liked him up until about an hour into hanging out with him last night.
I want a guy who listens and is attentive and sincerely cares about me. And Yogurt Guy totally fits the bill. And he's cute, and a lawyer. So what's the problem???
He smothers me. Yup. I went to his place last night to watch a movie, and 2 seconds after I'd sat down on the couch he ripped the comforter off his bed and started to cover me. Not only cover me, but actually tuck me into the corner of the couch. He said he knows I'm always cold so he was giving me the blanket just in case. That's sweet, but it would've been better if he'd brought a blanket over and put it near the couch and said, this is for you in case you get cold. I felt like a child when he was tucking me in. Weird. And he's always snuggly and kissy. Sometimes I just wanna sit on the other side of the room and talk. AND he pulled out his family pictures too. It was a little too much too fast.
Does this make me crazy? All I want is a little balance.

The Blow Off

Mr. Possibilities is a little PMSy! I blew him off like, once....maybe twice in the last 2 weeks and all of a sudden he has attitude with me?
At institute last night he didn't talk to me, EVEN after I tried to talk to him! I know! He completely ignored me. So I texted him later last night and he ignored me again! What the heck! I'm sorry that you don't meet my height requirement and that there are like...5 other dudes after me right now. Suck it up and take it like a man!
If Mr. Poss wants anything from me he's gonna have to step up his game! And ignoring me cause he's mad/I injured his delicate ego is NOT how to go about this.

On a side note, I went out with Kyle (Mr. How Many Kids Do You Wanna Have) the other night and had a GREAT time. I know. I was surprised too.

I ALSO went out with Mr. Yogurt guy from MONTHS ago...he's REALLY tall....so I'm leaning towards him right now. You've gotta keep your priorities straight you know!

Oh yeah....Rhett called and asked me out again. Not sure what to think about this one but I'll give him another shot.

And we've added another one into the mix. Apparently the guy who asked Jane out 2 weeks ago and then asked me out 3 days later is "Sprung on me" according to Jane's new interest who also happens to be this guy's roommate.

Isn't life fun and exciting!?!?!!?

Reincarnation and Lessons Learned

Fancy 1st Date Guy, Yogurt Guy, and ex-boyfriend called me today. Umm...why? I'm pretty sure I got rid of one, and the other 2 got rid of me. So why have they contacted me tonight? Either they are in slump and going through their phones and calling everyone, or they sincerely want to "give it another shot." Sorry gentlemen. "Mr. Do You Have a Facebook" just raised the bar and you fall unfathomably short. Harsh? Maybe. Truthful? Absolutely.
Katie, Jane and I were talking over dinner tonight. Jane and I were offering Katie comfort and advice as she's dealing with a rough breakup. As I was dishing my "words of wisdom" to Katie I realized something. This past week I've learned a lesson from Mr. Facebook. You have to know what you want before you look for it, or you'll never find it. To know what you want you have to know yourself. Once you've got that taken care of don't settle for someone who isn't what you're looking for. It's a great disservice to both of you. Know who you are. Know what you want. Be realistic. Learn how to recognize these qualities in others. Don't waste your time by settling with someone who isn't what you are looking for. There are 6.77 billion people in this world and one of them is looking for you.

Short lived

Ok- so I thought I was a rock star cause I met 2 men on the same night and both asked me out. So, the guy who took me to frozen yogurt on the low key 1st date was my favorite of the two. He was closer to my age and I found him more attractive. BUT- I gave "fancy 1st date" guy a chance and wasn't ready to eliminate him. So...I saw both of them a few times. Here's what happened...
Yogurt guy and I went out a couple times. Dates 2 and 3 both ended up just "hanging out" at my house because it turns out he hates his roommates and just didn't want to go home and he complained that he had no money because of student loans for law school. Every time we hung out he'd say good bye at the door and ask to see me again. I said yes each time except for Monday because I had a date with "fancy 1st date" guy the night Yogurt Guy wanted to see me. So I told him I had plans but could do it the next day. So I'm on my date with "fancy 1st date" guy and "yogurt guy" calls anyway. I texted him later when I got home and said I was out and sorry I missed his call but did he want to hang out tomorrow of the next day. He never answered, but it was late so I figured he was sleeping and would answer the next day. Well, the next day rolls around and he hasn't answered so I try again. I text and ask if he wants to hang out Thurs or Fri. Still no answer. Well, that's 2 times I've attempted contact and 2 times I've been ignored. I have stopped trying to reach him and he has yet to return my call. Why he's decided all of a sudden to stop talking to me I have no idea. Last we talked he was asking me out. Here's my theory--last time we hung out he tried to get a little more out of me than I was willing to give. After 3 dates I didn't "give him what he wanted" and he's determined he's not going to get it so he's done trying. Either that or he's just REALLY busy. Too busy to return my call where I was returning his call. It's a mystery. Or he's a slime ball. Or abducted by aliens. You be the judge.
As for "fancy 1st date" guy he lured me into a second date the very next day under false pretense. I didn't want to go to the "networking" event for business owners that he was invited to. I insisted I'd feel out of place and didn't want to go. He told me his Hawaiian friend was coming and since I used to live there I was excited to meet someone from the island so I went ONLY because he was pushy and I wanted a chance to chat with his Hawaiian friend. Well his Hawaiian friend "conveniently" was too tired to go so it was just him and I. And I was SOOOO out of place at this "networking" WINE TASTING. Ummm....I don't drink. At all. And he knows this. So he takes me to a place I don't want to go, I don't fit in, and there's not a Hawaiian in sight. To make things worse, when we get there he puts his arm around me and starts calling me honey and sweetie and talking about our future children and telling me he's buying a Ferrari or Lamborghini in the next 12-24 months and which models have a back seat for our baby car seat. He's trying to impress me with the business he owns, how much money he makes and the expensive foreign sports car I car nothing about. When he finally takes me home we get in the car and he asks if I want to go to his house and meet his dogs. Ummm...NO. One- the LAST thing I want to do is go to his house. Two- I don't like dogs. Especially not big, slobbery ones that weigh more than me. Ugh!
The lesson we've learned? Bars are NOT good places to meet men. No matter how cute they are, or how nice, or how normal they seem. 36 yr old men are single and hitting on 26 yr old women for a reason. And 27 yr old men who bail after a week when they realize they aren't getting any aren't worth the 5 min drive to get the frozen yogurt that you thought was so great last week.
I spent this weekend watching Twilight and eating Skinny Cow ice cream sandwhiches because, honestly, that's what I'd prefer to do given my other options.

First Dates

...are AWKWARD!
Last week I went on a date with a guy. We had just met and didn't know each other so we kept it low key. I met him for frozen yogurt. He paid. We ate our yogurt and talked and decided when yogurt was done to continue the date by hanging out and talking for a few hours. It was nice. Nothing fancy or expensive. He didn't try to impress me, and that's ok because first dates can be awkward since you're just getting to know each other.
I've got another date with a different man tonight. He wants to pick me up at my place. I'm not so sure how I feel about that. I don't even know this guys last name. Then he wants to take me to a FANCY restaurant at the new M Resort. I checked this place out on line. I've gotta get dressed up and I have no doubt the bill for just dinner will be pushing $200. Yikes! Sounds nice right? WRONG! Now there's all this pressure! A first date is already going to be a little weird, but now I feel all nervous and self conscious. What if I'm not dressed properly or don't act the "right way" (whatever that is). This guy is several (10) yrs older than me so I'm already feeling a little intimidated.
Friend have said that's the difference between dating someone your age and someone a little more mature, but I am thinking (and this is before "fancy date") that I like the cheap, low key, no pressure sort of first date.
What do you think?