Ok- I was browsing on-line personal ads to see what all the fuss was about and I have to tell you, I am absolutely HORRIFIED by what is out there. Now, I don't want to be one to judge because I know there are a lot of nice, normal people out there who sincerely want to find the one other person in this world who loves them and understands them and who want to spend their lives together. I get that. What I just cannot understand is ads that start something like this:
Has Car, Good Hygiene, Not a Perv, Man who loves Petite/Muse <- ok, this one was actually pretty funny
98% Happily Married Man seeks 98% Happily Married Woman - 41 - <- Umm...married men should NOT be sneaking around on the internet looking for married women.
Why Date A Broke Guy When You Can Have A Sugar Daddy <-This guy offered $1,000 a week to be his mistress!
any girls want to get drunk - <- classy
biker wants to park his big harley deep in your garage - 44 <- Dirty biker isn't getting his unwashed Harley ANYWHERE near my "garage"
Lookin For Someone To Sex You Right No Strings Attached - m4w - 26 <-Um, dateless and desperate called.
Skilled at prostate massage? - 35 <- Eww!
Real Men Lick A_ _ /Seek LT Discreet Friend - 48 <-Nasty!
YOUNG BUSINESSMAN for BEAUTY to help with BILLS - 33 <-It's like Pretty Women, with LESS class. Do poor college students (as this man is seeking) really sleep with dirty old men for money???? Maybe these girls missed this lesson growing up. We call it self respect. And any self respecting girl calls home and asks Daddy to send money when her cable gets turned off or her car needs new tires.
Showing posts with label Online dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Online dating. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
From Jamie, the serial Internet Dater
I had been talking to a man online, and he was very nice. We talked several times, he owned his own company, his own home, early 40’s, had a son, so understood children and their needs, he seemed like a good fit. He hadn’t dated since his divorce, which was about 8 years ago, so this was all new to him. We talked on the phone several times as well, so yet another coffee date was set. We met at the said coffee house, and he wasn’t unattractive, but he wasn’t that attractive, either. (His picture was hard to see online…But I could see that he wasn’t a one eyed freak!!!) Anyhow, we had a very nice talk. We talked about our kids, families, vacations we’ve taken, etc. It was very nice. When he mentioned his son, I asked if he knew a friend of mine. Same neighborhood, same school for the kids. He said no, the name didn’t ring a bell. I mentioned I was going out with some girlfriends to a concert that Friday night, and he said if we drank too much, he’d be happy to come pick us up. We were outside, and it was pretty chilly, so we decided to take off, and he asked if he could see me again. I said sure, since I figured I should give it a chance. (You never know, with a good personality, they CAN be come attractive, right?!) Well, a couple days later, at dinner before the concert, my friend was asking me about the date. She looked confused and asked if this man owned a painting business, which I said yes. Then she mentioned his last name, and I said yes, that’s his name! Why?! Well, folks, it turns out that this very nice man, who hasn’t dated since his divorce, had been dating my friends other friend for the last five, yes, that’s FIVE years!!!!!! Can you believe that?! So, ladies, we did what any other normal American women would do. We started calling him. From the restaurant, concert, etc. He did not pick up. I’m thinking he’s figured it all out, and is a tad scared to pick up….hmmmm…… When I got home that night, after several margarita’s, ok, and a few more martini’s, I thought it would be appropriate to send my little friend a strongly worded email. Of which I did. I then, went to be, feeling oh, so much better after giving him a little piece of my mind. The next morning, he sent me a reply with “You don’t know enough of the story…” “I don’t know enough of the story???? Really??!!! I know enough that I know you’ve been dating Susan for 5 years. I know enough that you lived with her for awhile. I know that she is the one who works in your office with you, I think that’s enough of the story to know that you’re a jerk!” (OK, I did use a different word, but since this is a family website, (it is, isn’t it?) I’ll refrain.) This was an immediate reply by me. Not five minutes later, my friend called me to tell me Susan called her upset and crying because Barry broke up with her!!! Yes, ladies, he was with her the night before, ignoring my phone calls, and knew he’d been caught, so decided it was in his best interest to step up, be a man and break up with her. A little late, I think! So my good friend informed Susan she was better off because he has been online, looking for someone new, and that he had gone out with me. Poor Susan, she was very upset, yet happy to know that he’d gotten the appropriate response from me, and it was much easier for her knowing he’s been a “jerk” and she is much better off without him. So, Susan is doing well, knowing she got out of an obviously sinking relationship, I’m doing well, knowing I exposed a jerk for what he is, and the friend in the middle is doing well, knowing she doesn’t date men online, and doesn’t have to deal with this crap.
Ladies, I do this because I have faith, fading as it is, that there are decent men out there. Somewhere. They do not show up at work, the grocery store or in hiking clubs as we are all promised. Yet, they are online, waiting for a talented, smart, attractive woman comes along. I just haven’t found him yet…..
Ladies, I do this because I have faith, fading as it is, that there are decent men out there. Somewhere. They do not show up at work, the grocery store or in hiking clubs as we are all promised. Yet, they are online, waiting for a talented, smart, attractive woman comes along. I just haven’t found him yet…..
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Jamie in CA again
It seems like one or two things here:
1- Jamie dates SO much she has more stories than anyone else
or
2- Jamie should stop meeting men online. They all seem like freaks!
"I am a friend to the world of internet dating. I do it often. I met a man and went out with him, but decided he wasn’t for me and told him no thank you after the first date. He continued to call and email, and through this, we’ve become friends. Well, I’m keeping it friends. So, we’ve kept in touch, meet up with friends and have drinks, etc. He’s been a fun friend. He want’s more, but has been ok with us just being friends. Well, one night he calls and wants me to come over and watch a movie and have dinner. He wants to take me to a nice restaurant, and watch a movie at his house. I mention we are STILL just friends and he says yes, he understands. Well, I decided since he knows where we stand, it might be nice to get out. I get to his house, he lives a good 50 minutes away, and he immediately takes me around to see the “animals”. He’s got them all outside, except for one he keeps on the kitchen table!!!!! Like a centerpiece! Who does that???? He also has statues and figurines of reptiles all over the place. So we talk about where we’re going to eat, and I mention I’d love a good salad. He perked up and said he knew a great place for salads!!!! Off we went to the great place. We drove around for quite awhile, and I’m thinking it’s going to be somewhere pretty decent, and we pull up to Round Table Pizza. No, I’m not kidding. I believe we were the only adults in there. We get to the register, and we order two salad bar plates and two sodas. (I’m feeling like I’m in 10th grade…) Then, Bill, the asphalt man turns to me and says, “I don’t know where my wallet is….” Yes, ladies, it’s true. The man has no wallet. He didn’t mention this in the truck. Nor did he mention it when we got there, but mentioned it when we were paying. So, I whipped out my wallet, and paid for our dinner. Luckily, it didn’t cost much! At all!!!! So all during dinner he watches “The Game” on a big screen, and complains about his wallet. We leave, get back to his house, and this is where I should have left, but allowed this date to continue. Not sure why, don’t judge. He convinced me to come in, and watch a movie. It was early, fine. Can’t remember the name of the movie, but it was pretty good. I sat on one end of the couch, while he sat on the other. He kept staring at me, it was very uncomfortable. Then, out of the blue, he says, “I really want to kiss you.” I tell him no, as we are only friends and are only ever going to be friends. Next thing I know, asphalt man is on top of me, with no means of escape! The breathing was difficult, and he managed a big long kiss, but I did finally escape. We had a long talk after that, and I actually finished the movie! Again, don’t judge! I felt bad for him. I was out of there at 11, and have not ever since been alone with Bill. So, ladies, I met a “friend” paid $20 in gas to get there, paid $18 for dinner, watched a movie about sports, only to get molested by a large man who smells like tar. A Saturday night, home alone, in my sweats and a movie, is a far cry better than a big man who smells like pavement laying on top of you."
1- Jamie dates SO much she has more stories than anyone else
or
2- Jamie should stop meeting men online. They all seem like freaks!
"I am a friend to the world of internet dating. I do it often. I met a man and went out with him, but decided he wasn’t for me and told him no thank you after the first date. He continued to call and email, and through this, we’ve become friends. Well, I’m keeping it friends. So, we’ve kept in touch, meet up with friends and have drinks, etc. He’s been a fun friend. He want’s more, but has been ok with us just being friends. Well, one night he calls and wants me to come over and watch a movie and have dinner. He wants to take me to a nice restaurant, and watch a movie at his house. I mention we are STILL just friends and he says yes, he understands. Well, I decided since he knows where we stand, it might be nice to get out. I get to his house, he lives a good 50 minutes away, and he immediately takes me around to see the “animals”. He’s got them all outside, except for one he keeps on the kitchen table!!!!! Like a centerpiece! Who does that???? He also has statues and figurines of reptiles all over the place. So we talk about where we’re going to eat, and I mention I’d love a good salad. He perked up and said he knew a great place for salads!!!! Off we went to the great place. We drove around for quite awhile, and I’m thinking it’s going to be somewhere pretty decent, and we pull up to Round Table Pizza. No, I’m not kidding. I believe we were the only adults in there. We get to the register, and we order two salad bar plates and two sodas. (I’m feeling like I’m in 10th grade…) Then, Bill, the asphalt man turns to me and says, “I don’t know where my wallet is….” Yes, ladies, it’s true. The man has no wallet. He didn’t mention this in the truck. Nor did he mention it when we got there, but mentioned it when we were paying. So, I whipped out my wallet, and paid for our dinner. Luckily, it didn’t cost much! At all!!!! So all during dinner he watches “The Game” on a big screen, and complains about his wallet. We leave, get back to his house, and this is where I should have left, but allowed this date to continue. Not sure why, don’t judge. He convinced me to come in, and watch a movie. It was early, fine. Can’t remember the name of the movie, but it was pretty good. I sat on one end of the couch, while he sat on the other. He kept staring at me, it was very uncomfortable. Then, out of the blue, he says, “I really want to kiss you.” I tell him no, as we are only friends and are only ever going to be friends. Next thing I know, asphalt man is on top of me, with no means of escape! The breathing was difficult, and he managed a big long kiss, but I did finally escape. We had a long talk after that, and I actually finished the movie! Again, don’t judge! I felt bad for him. I was out of there at 11, and have not ever since been alone with Bill. So, ladies, I met a “friend” paid $20 in gas to get there, paid $18 for dinner, watched a movie about sports, only to get molested by a large man who smells like tar. A Saturday night, home alone, in my sweats and a movie, is a far cry better than a big man who smells like pavement laying on top of you."
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Beware of Internet Dating!
This one was sent to us from Jamie in California.
Met this guy online. Let's say his name is Frank Steinberg.....
So, he emails me, and seems pretty interesting. His picture was decent, he is no Brad Pitt, but I'm not looking for that! We talk, he's sweet, interesting, has two children, of which he has full custody. We talk a couple more times and he wants to meet me. He seems lovely, so I agree to meet him for dinner. We meet at the restaurant agreed upon. I walk up, and he is sitting outside waiting for me. Frank looks like a fricken coloring book. He's got a black button down shirt on, open several buttons. He is bald (fine) but has a "dreamcatcher" tattooed to the center of his chest, right below his neck. Within that tattoo, he has diamonds implanted in his skin. On both his arms (short sleeved shirt) he has dolphins and mermaids brightly tattooed all over him. Within each "picture" All the eyes are diamonds implanted into his skin. He's highly colorful and sparkly. Of which you couldn't tell in his pictures (say headshot) and didn't mention. OK, a few tattoo's I can live with if someone is a very nice guy. Of which he seemed to be. So, we go into dinner. I order a glass of wine, he has water. Odd. He had mentioned to me on the phone he enjoyed wine tasting. Something I enjoy, too. I ask him why he's not having a glass, and he proceeds to tell me he's on a medication that the Dr. warned him not to drink. (Can you say Anti-Depressant?) He then started in on how many meds he was taking and he can't drink while he's taking all of them. Some anti depressants, some anti anxiety, some for ADD, We're talking at least 8 different things. Then he decides this is a good time to tell me that his ex-wife is a drug addict and he has a restraining order against her, and he tries to protect the kids from her. He's also going up North that coming weekend to get his 12 year old daughter from the FAT FARM she's been at for a month. He likes this place because they've got physicians on site to help monitor her depression and the meds SHE'S on! (I kid you not.) Then he thought this would be another good time to tell me his son, who is 10, is also on 3 different depression and anti anxiety meds, as well. Hmmmm, I'm thinking, this may be one mixed up group of people! Frank never stops talking, so I'm using this time to think, and think hard. He tells me that he lives in a beautiful townhouse, that belongs to his mother. (She doesn't live there, just controls what goes on there.) He has a huge fish tank in EVERY room. If a tank doesn't fit, it has fish bowls. No, I'm serious. Then, he told me he wants a dog, but his mom won't let him. What? Are we 5???!!!! This date lasted exactly 50 minutes. Long enough to finish that glass of wine and a quick dinner salad. I thanked him and artfully dodged him trying to kiss me. Went home, sent him an email thanking him for the evening and letting him know that while he seemed like a great guy, I didn't think we had anything in common and wouldn't be a very good match. He thanked me for my honesty and things were great. Yet, a week later, Einstein or was it Steinberg? called again and asked if we could talk and maybe have a date????!!!!! Ugghhh!!!!!
Met this guy online. Let's say his name is Frank Steinberg.....
So, he emails me, and seems pretty interesting. His picture was decent, he is no Brad Pitt, but I'm not looking for that! We talk, he's sweet, interesting, has two children, of which he has full custody. We talk a couple more times and he wants to meet me. He seems lovely, so I agree to meet him for dinner. We meet at the restaurant agreed upon. I walk up, and he is sitting outside waiting for me. Frank looks like a fricken coloring book. He's got a black button down shirt on, open several buttons. He is bald (fine) but has a "dreamcatcher" tattooed to the center of his chest, right below his neck. Within that tattoo, he has diamonds implanted in his skin. On both his arms (short sleeved shirt) he has dolphins and mermaids brightly tattooed all over him. Within each "picture" All the eyes are diamonds implanted into his skin. He's highly colorful and sparkly. Of which you couldn't tell in his pictures (say headshot) and didn't mention. OK, a few tattoo's I can live with if someone is a very nice guy. Of which he seemed to be. So, we go into dinner. I order a glass of wine, he has water. Odd. He had mentioned to me on the phone he enjoyed wine tasting. Something I enjoy, too. I ask him why he's not having a glass, and he proceeds to tell me he's on a medication that the Dr. warned him not to drink. (Can you say Anti-Depressant?) He then started in on how many meds he was taking and he can't drink while he's taking all of them. Some anti depressants, some anti anxiety, some for ADD, We're talking at least 8 different things. Then he decides this is a good time to tell me that his ex-wife is a drug addict and he has a restraining order against her, and he tries to protect the kids from her. He's also going up North that coming weekend to get his 12 year old daughter from the FAT FARM she's been at for a month. He likes this place because they've got physicians on site to help monitor her depression and the meds SHE'S on! (I kid you not.) Then he thought this would be another good time to tell me his son, who is 10, is also on 3 different depression and anti anxiety meds, as well. Hmmmm, I'm thinking, this may be one mixed up group of people! Frank never stops talking, so I'm using this time to think, and think hard. He tells me that he lives in a beautiful townhouse, that belongs to his mother. (She doesn't live there, just controls what goes on there.) He has a huge fish tank in EVERY room. If a tank doesn't fit, it has fish bowls. No, I'm serious. Then, he told me he wants a dog, but his mom won't let him. What? Are we 5???!!!! This date lasted exactly 50 minutes. Long enough to finish that glass of wine and a quick dinner salad. I thanked him and artfully dodged him trying to kiss me. Went home, sent him an email thanking him for the evening and letting him know that while he seemed like a great guy, I didn't think we had anything in common and wouldn't be a very good match. He thanked me for my honesty and things were great. Yet, a week later, Einstein or was it Steinberg? called again and asked if we could talk and maybe have a date????!!!!! Ugghhh!!!!!
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