No Game

Ok- I been calling club promoters because I have out of town guests who wanted to go to a club. I'm not much of a club goer myself so I was just sorta hoping to get my friends in free, or at least let them bypass the line. I had no idea only GIRLS get into that stuff free. Turns out dudes pay a butt load (we can add that to the girls pros list) just to get into these things. Unfortunate for my friends, they're all dudes. So the most any promoter I've talked to can do is give these guys deals on alcohol and let them skip the line if they buy a bottle upfront. But they still have to pay a bazillion dollars just to get in. Of the 3 promoters I talked to, one really, REALLY stood out. I would like to share our conversation. Because of his stupidity, his name has NOT been changed.

L: Hi, Adam? Mike the hairstylist gave me your number. He said you could help get some of my friends into Tryst or XS.
Adam: (sounding stoned and on speaker phone) Tryst. XS is sold out.
L: Ok, Tryst then. So, can you help me?
Adam:(lots of mumbling...I can't make it out...)
L:.....uh....hello?
Adam: Yeah, um....uhhh....just have your friend call me. I can get them a table if they buy 2-3 bottles. Bottles are $425 a piece.
L: (thinking....YIKES!!!!) I'll just have Derek call you.
Adam: You're Mike's friend....So, you must be hot. Are you hot?
L: Excuse me?
Adam: All Mike's girl friends are hot. So you must be. Are you?
L: ummm....uhhhh....sure. I guess. I'm not ugly.
Adam: You sound hot. Are you blond. You have big knockers right? Did you bang him?
L: EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
Adam: (sensing he said the wrong thing....) Uhhh...Gotta go. Have Danny call me.

I hang up.

Let's point out the obvious.

1. Sounds stoned and on speaker phone------LAME
2. lots of mumbling------Stupid
3. Are you hot?----Douche bag
4. Are you blond---So what if I am???
5. You have big knockers right? ------REALLY?!?!?
6. Did you bang him?-----He's lucky this was over the phone, cause I would've hit him if I could reach
7. Have Danny call me-----He didn't even get Derek's name right.

I'm insulted. And impressed at what a flipping moron this guy is. If this is a sample of the kind of men available I'd prefer to stay single and watch movies borrowed from the library and eat frozen pizza and Ben & Jerry's.

Much like tonight......(sniff, sniff)