From my friend Emma

Dear Frog Prince,

I just have to share this dating story.....let's call him Army Dud (clearly he's in the military).....so I meet this supposedly wonderful PH (priesthood holder) at a friend's house for FHE. We totally hit it off and instead of texting me for the rest of eternity, this guy actually called - shocker I know! Not once, not twice, but every day. And he just couldn't wait to take me out....a real Prince at last?? After I took him to one of Las Vegas' coolest hotels to a party in a rockin' penthouse suite we had pretty standard first date fun - a movie. Movie was hilarious, date conversation was great, and as we walked back to his car in the parking garage he guided me through the crowds with his hand on my lower back - SWOON! Do men know how much of a turn-on that is?? Anyhow, we get back to my house and he was definitely a little presumptuous. I didn't invite him in, he just CAME IN. But I didn't feel threatened so no worries.

Sitting on the couch watching tv (for real!) and all of a sudden, someone was in my backyard knocking on a window!! Yes, 1am and someone is knocking on a window in my backyard. Immediately mute the tv, then turn off the lights, then shut off the tv to try to see outside and who it is. Me - I'm freaking out (Hello I live alone!!); Army Dud - totally cool, calm and collected. He's ready to go all commando (except for the fact that I had to suggest turning off the lights inside so that we could see outside since it was pitch black out there....interesting). Once the lights are off though, he becomes more concerned with trying to rub up on me than protect me! All of a sudden he's got tentacles and after a few minutes of checking things out through the windows, we decide to settle back onto the couch and see if it happens again. Why would anyone think this would be a good time to try to makeout?? Okay yes, being strong defender man - definitely hott! But when I am seriously freaked out - not a great time to try to play tonsil-hockey!

Army Dud became convinced that it was my ex making a drive-by in the middle of the night and saw his car in the driveway so wanted to mess with us. I explained why I didn't think that was true - and I still think it was just some creepy person checking out my house in the middle of the night - weirdos! But overall, he seemed to not be freaked out by the whole incident - given his determination at physical contact. The next day I initiated phone contact and made light of the incident. The response - NONE.

That's how easy it is to go from a Prince to a Dud. Excuse me, but even if it was a stalker, is that my fault?? Doesn't that just show how truly desirable I am?? Some poor schmuck just can't live without me?? And this Dud wants to pass on all that fabulousness?!? His loss. But really, where did all the Prince Charming's go???

Emma

~Note to Emma from Lynne...

Emma,

Army Dud wasn't even cute. You can do so much better.

Heart,
Lynne